Twin Souls, Twin Flames & Soulmates: The Same or Different?


There seems to be a lot of contradictory information regarding what a twin flame actually is, reuniting with twin flame(s), romantic v. nonromantic twin flames, and so on. Some even believe that given that this is the transition time of Spiritual Awakening for so many, it is during this period that all twin flames will reunite and enter their Divine twin flame relationships. What do I think?

I think that this is one of those things where everyone has an opinion, and nobody will know what is right until we’re all dead and check with the Grand Designer Upstairs. So in that sense, NO one has The Definitive Answer. But here’s my take, for what it’s worth:

I view Twin Souls and Twin Flames as an interchangeable designation. However, I think of Twin Flames and Soulmates as two distinct groups. Twin Flames are always Soulmates, but not all Soulmates are Twin Flames.

For me, Soulmates are our Core Team. They are a group of people with whom we incarnate time and time again to fulfill various agreements and to push each other’s Growth Buttons when we need them pushed. They can be in our lives for a short time or a long time or always. And not all of them are with us Earthside; sometimes they are discarnates when we’re In Form here. Examples:

  • My father was my best friend. In fact, in most incarnations he usually comes in with me as a contemporary and fulfills my “best friend” role. He was a Soulmate.
  • My current husband is a Soulmate. My first two were not.
  • My spiritual mentor is a Soulmate, but has been in and out of my life: we had a very close relationship for 25 years, then needed three years “apart time” so I could grow into my new me. We have recently forged a different, more egalitarian relationship.
  • One Soulmate that I incarnate with again and again, who was a pivotal player in my last two lives, is not Earthside currently; we work together on the Astral Planes.

A Twin Flame is someone who is like a lightning strike in our lives. It’s someone we keep coming back to romantically, no matter what. Our lives are shaped, stamped and “memorialized” in people’s minds by the match, and we may have been with them in countless lives for thousands of years. John and Yoko? Twin Flames. Bogart and Bacall, Burton and Taylor? Twin Flames, both couples. My parents? Soulmates, but not Twin Flames; they were working partners through a very tough marriage but they did not light each other’s lives. My father and my stepmother? Soulmates again, but not Twin Flames. They loved each other deeply, but did not “define” each other.

I would even go so far as to say that Sri Daya Mata, the premiere disciple of Paramahansa Yogananda for decades, could be viewed as his Twin Flame, though as a Transcendant Soul he was not disposed to physical/romantic love of another human being. Yet her life was completely dedicated to him and to his legacy from the age of 18 until her death at 96, and this single-pointed focus has defined her in the minds of millions all over the world.

Finally, Twin Flames do not always incarnate together. We all have one, yes. But what about those lives when we prefer to work on emotional independence as we map out our prebirth planning session? Our Twin Flame may chose to remain discarnate during our lifetime, or pursue their own soul growth in another part of the world, as our plans do not always go in lock-step, even with those souls closest to us. For me, I have chosen to live a life of constant change, of self-growth and “re-raising” myself from a dysfunctional childhood. I deliberately chose not to have children, as I did not want to tie my life to another by blood or birth. The perfect mate for me is my current husband, who has his own life agenda and does not feel the need to match me in mine. We have different objectives in life, and different worldviews, yet we are very supportive of each other and very much in love. But that’s still not a Twin Flame, because in this lifetime, my own spiritual growth and the people “out there” that I work with and teach are my focus and my legacy. A Twin Flame would not allow me that single focus, so I do without one this time, by choice.

So, when you want to know if someone is a Soulmate, remember that it doesn’t necessarily mean the Undying Lovemate, but they are most definitely part of your Team this lifetime!