The (Almost) Blooming Onion of Death

blooming onion
July 13, 2023

We have a very tiny county fair in our very tiny county. But my husband and I go each year to “renew our marriage license…”

You see, our first date had a kiss at the top of the Ferris Wheel at the Dutchess County Fair decades ago. So our tradition is that every summer, we find a Ferris Wheel somewhere, kiss at the top and *ping* we get to be married another year.

It’s a silly tradition, but it’s ours.

So last year we found a fair, kissed at least THREE times (making up for the pandemic years of 2020 and 2021 as well as making our 2022 renewal), and decided we were giddy enough to eat Bad Fair Food.

What is Bad Fair Food? Oh, the questionable stuff fried in questionable oil that normally you would run screaming from because Health/Diet/Sanity…but once a year what the hell.


blooming onion


So we shared a Blooming Onion, and he did a sausage sandwich and I did fried clams and then we both had ice cream.

Now, this might be fine if you are pre-menopausal and your body was ticking along normally.

But in my sixties, and not having drunk enough water, and the heat and humidity on top of it?



Heart palpitations. Seeing stars, practically. And then a heart racing worse than the Demolition Derby jalopies down the track.

I sat. I breathed. We got me to the car and I sat in the cool for quite a while, and then we drove me sedately home.



Yes there was a visit to the GP and yes I learned my lesson and yes I was back on my Very Healthy Mediterranean Regimen the very next day… but boy howdy.

If I never see a Blooming Onion again it will be a wise thing indeed.

Because I really do intend to find another Ferris Wheel this year for that marriage renewal.


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