You Are In Charge Of Your Own Existence


My clients come in all different shapes, sizes and circumstances. Some of them are seasoned Spiritual Warriors, always ready and eager for the next challenge. Some of them are rookies, and need extra time and explanation regarding how Life works. Some of them have walked the Spiritual road for a while, but have lost their way, and come to me as a waystation and a recalibration.

I welcome all of them, and love working with each one to get them on the road they seek. But there is a key similarity in every case: they know they must walk the road themselves, and if they meet a challenge, they want to figure out a way to go over, under, around it – or transmute it.

There is one kind of client, however, that I will work with only once. And that is the Professional Victim.

We all have them in our lives. They can be anybody – male or female, friend or relative, coworker or stranger. They are the ones who complain about all the hard knocks they get, how they are hurt and used and life is so very, very unfair. They grumble about circumstances, they bemoan their situation, and they bellyache about their relationships with numbing regularity. They say over and over again how they want things to change.

Many of us, in sympathy, make suggestion after suggestion to them. And each suggestion is met with a reason why nothing will work. What if you talked to your spouse about your feeling left out of decisions? “Oh, she never listens. I can’t be bothered.” What if you talked to your boss about that raise? “Oh, bosses are so damned greedy. They just want us to shut up and work for pennies.”   What if you stopped enabling your son, and told him to move out? “Oh, I couldn’t do that. I’d be a bad mother. But he’s so lazy and I can’t afford to pay for both of us. I wish he would do something.”

In every case, the person finds relief in complaining to anyone who will listen, but has no intention of taking any responsibility for making the needed course corrections. And when they come to my desk, I am not gentle with them. I point out that they are spending good money with me, and no matter what the cards or their guides suggest, they are refusing to believe anything can be changed.

They are dumbstruck at my bluntness. And they either acknowledge that fact and open up, or I don’t read them again. And I make no apologies for my clarity.

The single most important point of guidance I can give you is this: Own the fact that you are in charge of your own existence. Not the Fates. Not your financial circumstances. Not your family or your birth or your gender. You. Knowing that you are the captain of your own ship means you can decide how to steer it through the waters of your existence.

I don’t say that things will always go your way.  Sometimes those waters will make for smooth sailing, yes; but sometimes they will be so rough you will be pea-green in the face and hanging over the edge of the railing. Still, you will be the captain. You get to claim your own triumphs and recognize your own miscalculations. Either way, you are in charge, and that means all possibilities are yours as well.

“Own the fact that you are in charge of your own existance.” – Corbie Mitleid